Halloweenie
by bloodyblond
Summary: When the group told Peter they were going to dress up as Vampires for Halloween, this isn't quite what they meant.


**Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**

_**A/N: This should have been posted on Halloween, but alas I suffer from more lag than a computer on dial-up. Enjoy the late Halloween inspired treat.**_

* * *

"Are you sure this looks okay?" Jasper muttered, patting his head self-consciously.

"Are you kidding, baby," Bella replied saucily. "You are rocking that eighties mullet. Kiefer Sutherland ain't got nothing on you cowboy." She grinned when Jasper preened as he flicked up the collar of his black trench coat. "How do I look?" she asked, smoothing a pale hand over the old fashioned wine-colored crushed velvet floor length dress that was draped on her lithe frame.

Jasper gave her a heated once over, his lips curling slightly over the custom made fangs he wore. "Like a sexy crazy vampiress," he assured her.

Bella started swaying back and forth. "Do you love my insides, the parts you can't see?" she moaned in a surprisingly convincing British accent.

"From eyeballs to entrails, my sweet," he volleyed back, grinning when she laughed and smacked his shoulder.

"Wrong character," she chastised, pulling on his wig gently.

"I think you had the right idea with that dress," Rose gripped, adjusting the shiny black body suit she wore as she walked into the living room. "Vampire or not, all this latex is a bitch," she bemoaned as she ran her fingers through her shoulder length black hair – courtesy of a top of the line wig – and checked the mirror hanging on the wall to see that her icy blue contacts were properly in place.

"I second that," Charlotte chimed in, pausing in the entry way to maneuver her boobs so they were adequately covered by the tight red and black deep v-neck leather corset she wore. Once the girls were situated, she fiddled with the four red straps that fastened the front of it, making sure they were done up. "My laces good?" she asked, offering the room a view of the back of her corset.

"Fine," Rose returned distractedly, stepping away from the mirror.

Charlotte took her place at and carefully probed at the multitude of pins that turned her long red hair into a choppy style that just dusted the tops of her shoulders. "You'd think we'd get a free pass because of our tolerance level, but this leather is still riding up where it doesn't belong," she complained, squirming slightly in the equally colored – and equally tight – leather pants she wore.

"Those blades are wicked awesome, though," Emmett pointed out as he strolled into the room, his pale chest on display thanks to the incredibly deep v of his flowy off-white shirt. "Fake or not."

"They are, aren't they?" Charlotte agreed, twisting her arms and admiring the intricate plastic blades strapped to them. "Makes the whole costume worth it."

"And you have me and my extensive video game collection to thank for it," Emmett boasted, sliding down on the couch. "I really don't see the complaint about leather," he added, crossing his legs and patting the black leather that encased them. "Feels fine to me."

Rose crossed the room towards him and leaned down to wrap her fingers around one of the thick silver chains that hung around his neck. Pulling him forward until their noses were touching she cooed, "Maybe next year we'll squeeze _you_ into a body suit."

His topaz eyes lit up. "Cool, I can be Wolverine, like in the X-Men movies."

Rose snorted. "Of course you'd be excited about it," she snarked with exasperated fondness before lightly pecking his nose with a kiss.

Jasper gazed around the room as everyone put the finishing touches on their vampire costumes (reaching up to confirm that the prosthetics around his eyes were firmly in place as he did so) and noted that one member of the family had yet to come down.

"Where's Peter?"

Charlotte shrugged as she smoothed a dark red lipstick over her lips. "He said he wanted his costume to be a surprise," she grumbled as her newly painted lips pouted. "He wouldn't even tell me what it was."

Jasper frowned. "I thought you were in charge of the costumes, Bella."

She smiled wryly. "He was pretty persistent."

_Peter unsupervised,_ Jasper thought uneasily, _that couldn't –_

"Surprise!"

The group turned at the silly Bela Lugosi-esque accent, cringing collectively as their eyes roamed over the lavender makeup Peter had slathered on his face, the prosthetic he wore on his nose that brought it to a point, over exaggerated black eyebrows that had obviously been thickened by eyeliner and the pointed black goatee that was glued to his chin. A green cape was draped over the black suit he wore, the collar of if rising to a high triangular shape just behind his head.

"What. The. Hell?" Jasper managed to force out, while Bella decided to sum up everyone's feelings and break into hysterical laughter.

Jasper ignored his giggling mate and glared at Peter. "The theme was vampires, you ass."

Peter drew himself up proudly. "Count von Count is a vampire," he defended.

"No, he's a puppet," Jasper deadpanned.

"Let me try to clarify what Jasper means," Rose pointed out helpfully, her lips twisting with the desire to join in Bella's ongoing laughter. "I believe the _actual_ theme was _badass_ vampires."

"Dude teaches kids how to count. How much more badass can you get?!"

Charlotte rolled her eyes. "You're fighting a losing battle, Rose." She turned to her mate. "You look like a tool, babe." She leaned closer and squinted. "Did you use my eyeliner?"

"No offense, dude," Emmett agreed. "But your costume sucks." He smirked. "No pun intended."

Peter brushed of the barrage of insults. "People are gonna love my costume," he insisted.

"Don't _count_ on it," Bella cackled.

Jasper began clapping mockingly. "My mate, the comedian," he congratulated wryly.

"Careful," Bella warned, slipping back into the soft British lilt, "or Miss Edith said Daddy will have no cakes today."

Jasper pulled a face. "I don't care if you're trying to stay in character, never call me daddy again."

"_I will be your father figure,_" Peter crooned teasingly, trying to get the attention back on him.

"Strike two, Peter. Strike one was that costume."

"Whatever," Peter scoffed. "I know I look awesome." He scowled at Jasper when he heard him mutter, "Someone's gift is apparently lacking," and shot him a smug grin when Bella elbowed his side in response.

His view was blocked when Charlotte stepped into his line of sight. "They get sexy badass vamps and I get school time," she sighed, patting his face reproachfully, before pinching his cheeks. "You're adorable, Pete, but next year, I'm in charge of your costume."

"Let's get this show on the road!" Emmett cheered and the group made their way to the door, laughing and talking the whole way.

Well, most of them that is.

"Five, five jealous vampires," Peter grumbled petulantly as he trailed out behind them.

* * *

_**A/N2:**_

_**Costumes:**_

_**Jasper - David: The Lost Boys**_

_**Bella - Dru: Buffy the Vampire Slayer**_

_**Rose - Selene: Underworld**_

_**Emmett - Drake/Dracula: Blade Trinity**_

_**Charlotte - Rayne: Bloodrayne (video game)**_

_**and of course,**_

_**Peter - Count von Count: Sesame Street**_

_**-oo-**_

_**Do you love my insides, the parts you can't see?  
**_

_**Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet. **_

_**-oo-**_

_**These lines are quoted directly from the BTVS episode Halloween. Fitting, ain't it?**_


End file.
